God's answering my longings. But not how I thought he would. Of course. Why would he limit himself to my imagination?
He's answering my longing to become a wife with Proverbs 31. Classic. Recently I've become more committed to praying for my future husband to breed healthy habits. But in this I've been praying for the future wife in me. Asking him to mould me into her. He's nudged me to Proverbs 31. Like he's saying 'ok you want to know the qualities you'll need to be a good wife? You want to practically know what that looks like? Here's a checklist.' And I know it's not a literal checklist. I don' need to be at the market early tomorrow morning. But I know he's teaching me to just do things without the feeling of 'well if I won't do it no-one else will' or 'I'll do it because I have to'. I know marriage won't be easy but I want to be able to walk into it with an attitude that doesn't complain. Because if I have a heart of complaining I've already set myself up for it to be hard and I'll start to resent things I'm supposed to rejoice.
So God's sitting next to me poking my arm like a five-year-old who wants to play. Begging me to spend time with him as I so often neglect to. Nudging me to his word and answering my heart cries.